Surgery, On What?

What us mothers do for our kids! I mean we have to do some awesome things in our lives, but today I performed the unimaginable.
Okay maybe you can imagine it (I did include pictures)!
I performed leg surgery on a spider. Yes, you read that right, leg surgery on a spider! Not just any spider, an enormous eight legged, huge fanged spider! You see he's the kids pet and they got a little too rough with him and accidentally ripped one of his legs. He's been in isolation for so long I just felt so bad I thought I finally better fix him. So this morning after getting all my supplies together I started sewing the spiders leg back together. It was a lot harder than I thought, his skin is pretty tough, but I finally managed to repair the tear and then sealed it with some superglue. Hopefully this will hold through more rough housing with the kids! They really like him! I don't think he has a name yet...any suggestions?

Lifeless Squirrel

Yesterday I looked outside to find something unusual. You see I spend many moments a day looking outside and enjoy watching the squirrels run around and eat the food I've scattered for them. But yesterday I looked outside to find one that wasn't moving and realized it was one of the toys that we bought for Kermit to play with...
however we adopted Kermit out about two months ago (sorry I won't explain, it's complicated) and we thought we had retrieved all the toys from outside and around the house, but apparently I was mistaken. However the kids haven't been outside to play in weeks because it's been too cold and wet. I'm not sure where this toy squirrel came from, but I thought it rather funny that it all of a sudden appeared out there. My only guesses are that the squirrels brought it out or that maybe it had been thrown up in the tree and got blown out...Crazy hugh?!

Not sure what we are going to do with it since we don't need it anymore. Maybe I'll just leave it out there for the squirrels nest or something! It is rather cute though, don't you think?! :O)

Duck-a-Doo

A couple nights ago when it was time for Jacob to hit the hay, I headed upstairs to join him breifly before he went to sleep and John followed me. I climbed into bed and I motioned for John to climbed under the covers on Jacobs side. He did and I told John to go to sleep and he stuck his thumb in his mouth and closed his eyes, but then Jacob came over and John freaked out yelling, "Hide!", then threw the covers over himself hiding from Jacob. After waiting a little bit John threw the covers off and yelled, " "Duck-a-doo". He laughed and immediately hid himself again, then threw the covers back, "Duck-a-doo!" He kept doing it over and over, time varying between uncoverings. We tried to get him to change to say Peek-a-boo, but he didn't seem to get it and continued with his own version! It was so funny Jacob and I just laughed and laughed! John thought he was pretty funny too! :O)

Renaissance Festival ~ June 14th 2008

Hail One and All~

Yesterday we spent the day at the Colorado Renaissance Festival near Larkspur! It was a pretty fun trip, though by the end we were all ready for a nap. We arrived about 9:15 am to get good parking (they don't open till 10). We were only a couple rows from the main gate so we did't have to walk far! We all got lathered up with 45 to 50 proof suntan lotion, then Jacob and Anna took off to go and get tickets for us all! They came back shortly after leaving because the ticket booths weren't open yet. They waited another 15 minutes or so then headed over again. The boys and I stayed at the van and I started packing up the stroller. We brought sandwiches, fruit, veggies, and all sorts of other snacks, plus lots of water (I had frozen several water bottles the night before and refrigerated another 4 or 5)! By the time I got everything all situated in the stroller Jacob and Anna were back with the tickets and we headed to the front gates. Our timing was impeccable because just as we arrived the King started addressing the crowd, the canon fired and everyone started entering the gates to the Festival beyond!

We didn't waist any time as we entered and headed strait for our favorite clothing shop. You see when we first arrived in Colorado 4 years ago we attended the Festival and bought costumes for everyone. David has however outgrown his little green shirt which was passed down to John, so he needed a new shirt. It took us about ten minutes to get to the shop, with little stops here and there, but we were able to find a nice navy blue shirt for David of a slightly thicker gauze material than some of out other garments. He also got a sash and I got another chemise, this one in brown. It will look lovely with the over dress I already have!

After the shop, since it was so close to 11, we headed over the the Jousting Arena. I thought the show started at 11, but after consulting the map we found out it didn't actually start till 11:30, however 'Casting in Bronze' did start at 11, so we sat in the shade under a tree and ate lunch. The show at 11 turned out to be the playing of a large display of different sizes of bells to music. It was very lovely! We didn't have to wait very long after that performance for the Jousting Tournament to start! The show was really good, though Jacob commented they needed to get some new jokes (we had heard the same ones two years ago when we went). Some of them were still pretty funny!

When the Jousting tourney was over we started walking the shops. We had decided ahead of time that we would only get a few garment items from the Taylors, so basically we just did a little sight seeing! We walked for quite awhile then on one turn in particular John and I got separated from Jake, Anna, and David. It took me at least a good twenty minutes to finally get Jacob on the phone and find them at the Elephants. That was a bit frustrating. That wasn't the only time we got separated...Just before the second show (around 2) we stopped to get some frozen treats from a vendor and Jacob and the boys went to go and get us some seats in the shade. Well, Anna and went to go find them, but couldn't see them anywhere. We looked and looked and this time unfortunately I didn't have the phone or the bell (Jacob packed this really neat little bell I found at a garage sale the other day so that we could ring it so the kids could find us if they got separated from us). We finally found them way down front by the Jousting Arena completely out of line of sight from where we had been standing for 15 minutes or so looking around for them...

Anyway, before the second show we sat for awhile and ate a few snacks. I didn't realize at first that David wasn't with us, but Jacob informed me he was on the other side of the Arena fighting with some of the other kids (David brought his play sword). We all got a good show watching David fight with the other kids. He's a very cautious fighter and usually waits to attack from behind while the person is occupied with other opponents. It was pretty funny to watch! :OP

After the second show we decided to head home. It was right around 4. Everyone was very tired and hot! My eyes were killing me from allergies and dust. Of course the only item I forgot to pack was contact solution and I forgot to take the Benydril I packed, whoops! Jacob drove home and shortly after leaving all the kids fell asleep. I dozed a little too, but didn't actually conk out.

When we got home everyone just relaxed. It's amazing how tiring it is walking around in the sun pushing a stroller up and down hills! We are always so exhausted after attending the Festival, but it's really fun while we're there! We'll definitely go again next year! I can't wait to try my over dress with my new chemise!

Lifestyle Change Buddy

Well,

Sunday I read an e-mail from a friend who suggested that I join with her as buddies and change our life-style, to start eating better and working out more! So, my friend Belen and I started Monday on our new lifestyle change. I've been keeping track of my food intake, calories and fat grams, plus time I've been working out and taking my body measurements (Sundays). This has only been going on for two days consistently, so we'll have to see how things go here in a couple weeks.

Today I did something a bit different because though I did get all my meals written down Monday I went way over my goal calorie/fat intake for the day. So Monday night I wrote out my meals for Tuesday. I stuck to it all day, though I didn't get the snacks in inbetween means I ended up combining the two separately w/ lunch and dinner. I do realize that I didn't take in enough liquids. I only had two large mugs of tea. I don't feel thirsty though. You'd think I would after only having those two today, but nope.

I have noticed something that I am though is really cranky! I don't seem to have a very much patience and I keep skipping around from project to project getting really irritated when things aren't going the way I wished they would. Not sure where that is coming from?! Though I've been working on VBS art project planning and getting rather frustrated that it isn't coming along like I'd hoped either. I need to make a run to the Church tomorrow to pick up some of the original art papers to transfer to larger paper so I can paint it!

Good news though!!! Jacob called this evening shortly after arriving at work. Apparently his trip to Edwards AFB for next week was canceled. So he won't be taking off Sunday like previously planned. Yay!!!

It's time to hit the sack. I want to get up at 6:30 ish tomorrow to workout so I better go to bed. Good Night!

Gonna Change

I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am right now and what I've become in the last couple years and frankly I'm not happy with myself! I guess my biggest peeve with myself is that I'm so out of shape and over weight that I can hardly stand myself anymore! Most of the time I can go through a day and not feel too horrible unless I head up the stairs and get winded or look in the mirror and see just how big I actually am. It's very depressing!!!

Sunday I started a get healthy/exercise plan with a goal to loose 50 pounds in the next 7 mo. I'm trying to eat healthy by following the food pyramid guide lines to try and eat the right amount of each food group each day, keeping my fat intake to about 30 grams, and trying to keep my calorie intake to about 1500. I got these figures after many different calculation programs online. Anyway, I figure in order to reach my goal weight, 150, I need to be eating calories to maintain 150 pounds, which according to most of what I read and calculated out is my goal weight, times 10. That doesn't take into account working out, but I'd rather loose the weight faster and don't plan to increase my calorie intake even when I reach my goal weight. Well, I started this thing Sunday and I even started recording my meals. The days progressed nicely until dinner rolled around and I was so hungry that I over ate and completely blew my nice, rest of the day diet, out of the water! I am really upset with myself (all three days I've been doing this so far)!!! I had a short, but in depth talk with Jacob this evening before bed and he suggested that I set myself some sort of goal and since one of the things I would like to have happen here in the next few months is get pregnant, he suggested that I not allow myself to get pregnant until I reach some goal weight. I am not going to do that, but I am going to set a goal. I want to loose 20 pounds by mid August. That will put me at 180 and if I do get pregnant, and if I stick to the less eating, I'll have been sticking to the two-ish months before I should not go too far over 200 by the end of the pregnancy, and if I don't get pregnant then that will give me even more time to lose even more weight! I'm not exactly sure I can do this. Food is a big comfort to me and snacking is something I do a lot of...especially on my finger nails (I know...ewww yuck, sorry it's a habit I've had since I was really little and it's a really tough one to break). I also have a very nagging sweet tooth that gets the better of me, but hopefully if I keep those things out of reach, sight, and out of the house I won't be tempted by them too much! Long story even longer, I'm going to try and stick to this the next two months at least to shed these 20 pounds!

Now I need to figure out how to stick to a work out regime!!! I was working out back before Thanksgiving, but unfortunately that was 7 months ago. We did go to the pool the other day and I swam about 11 laps, but that was several days ago and I really need to work out at least 3, really 5 days a week hard core working out to really start seeing any results, quickly! It's rather hard sticking to a work out program. I know I've tried in the past. It just gets frustrating doing all that work and not really having anything to show for it in my weight! I am going to continue to take measurements each Sunday and hopefully if I stick to this eating/working out program I'll see some results in the next few weeks!

So please wish me luck and even better, please, please, please pray for me! My will power is so weak when it comes to food and exercising can become so boring after awhile, especially since I'll be doing it all on my own. I'll need all the support I can get to stick to this! I really want to loose weight and get healthier, not to mention look better!!! My original goal was to loose the weight (50 lb) by my birthday next year (about 7 mo. away) and treat myself to a new clothing shopping spree! Yay skinny clothes!!! :OP We'll see if I can do it...the only things standing in my way are myself and if I were to get pregnant in the next couple months and I'd much rather the pregnancy happen, than let myself get the better of myself!

My Kids

I thought I'd include a picture of my kids! This is one that I took at Easter! I had them get all dressed up and it was a little difficult getting them to pose...but this shows their personalities a bit! :OP

Anna and David w/ John down front and center!

Mother's Day '08

Today is Mother's Day, May 11th...I didn't actually expect much to happen today because earlier this week Jacob agreed to let me pick out some different feeders. I got three different wild bird feeders (two for larger birds and one for finches) and a bungee squirrel feeder. Jacob put them all up for me on Tuesday last week and the squirrels have gone nuts over it ever since...they've completely disassembled the whole thing and have even been trying to get into one of the other feeders. It's pretty funny actually because the branches next to it are just too flimsy to support their weight. There was this one squirrel that did mange to get it's little paws on the feeder, but the branch started to give way and he was hanging on with all it's might, tip toes trying to get some balance on the branch with no luck. It managed to get one or two swipes at the feeder for some of the nuts before the branch gave out and it was hanging by one paw. It was pretty funny just watching it dangle there for a few seconds before it dropped to the ground. I don't think it actually got any nuts and I don't think that any of them have completely given up hope that they will get some because at least once a day I see them trying to climb up the skinny branches, but they don't get very far.

Anyway, I slept in this morning. Yesterday I could feel myself getting weaker. Thought I was getting sick...at least I could feel it coming on. I slept in till a little after 9 (that's really late for me). I wanted to go back to sleep, but there was too much light streaming into the room and I just couldn't get back to sleep, so I got dressed and came downstairs. When I got down the stairs Jacob and the kids all yelled 'Happy Mother's Day!'. It was pretty cute and all the kids ran up to me with home made card and I had Anna tape them all to the sliding glass window! Jacob told me he had a glass of tea steeping for me and as I walked into our main living area (kitchen/family room) I noticed that it had been cleaned up! Yay! I had to wait about half an hour for breakfast because I'd just taken my medication, but when I was ready for food Jacob was really wonderful and made my current favorite meal: chicken curry w/ veggies over rice! Yum, yum! We just recently discovered this dish when I bought a mild curry sauce packet at the commissary a week or so ago, but boy is it good stuff, especially with the added veggies: carrots, baby corn, and water chestnuts...I'm gonna add snow peas too one of these times I just don't have them right now...

Even though I got a couple hours extra sleep this morning I still felt completely drained and my head, ears, and throat were killing me. I took some tylenol cold and sinus med and it seemed to work pretty quick. I haven't felt too bad today, just tired, especially so if I'm up and trying to do a bunch.

The weather was really nice today! I wish I had felt better we could have gotten out and done something so the kids could get out, though the boys did spend most of the day out in the backyard playing! John even got stuck in wagon back in the forest. It was pretty funny...David came running in and said "Mom, John's stuck in the wagon back in the forest and he can't get out!" lol Crazy kids! :O) Both boys really enjoy playing outside and I'm glad they got the opportunity to do so today since we weren't really doing anything inside all day. We did chill and watch a couple movies: Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Anna got a kick out of watching them. We had to stop the 3rd one though so the kids could get to bed. Anna has school tomorrow. So I guess we'll be finishing that show tomorrow after she gets home and gets her homework done.

Well, I didn't exactly stay totally inactive today. I wanted to go to Nick's Garden Center and find out how much the bushes I want to eventually get cost and boy was I surprised by their price tags! No way I'm paying $99 bucks for a lilac bush. Yikes! I did find a bush that I think will look really neat out front, but we'll have to wait and add that to our list of 'things to do'. We also found the wind chimes that Jacob really likes...too bad the one that he wants to get is $360 bucks. Yikes again!

After the Garden Center Jacob drove us over the Family Christen Store really quick. I needed to pick up a few things and check out a few others, however we ran out of time because they close at 5 on Sundays so I wasn't able to check out everything that I wanted. I'll have to go back, but this time I'll have a 25% off my entire purchase coupon to use. Yay! We also stopped by Payless Shoe Source and Michael's real quick. Didn't spend too much time in either store. Then we came home.

Not much else went on today, just watched those shows and made a light dinner: sandwiches and egg rolls (that weren't very good, I won't buy that brand again). Anyway, Jacob is playing one of his Wii games and I was just checking me e-mail. No more messages today! Bummer! I've also been surfing the net a lot today checking out auctions on eBay just for the fun of it!

We'll be heading to bed here in about an hour, but for now I'm gonna log off and watch Jacob play his game...Good Night!

Crazy Hungry Squirrels

Monday (5th) Jacob agreed to let me get a few different bird feeders and a squirrel bungee feeder. This is something that I've been wanting to do since we moved in here since we've had all sorts of critters frequenting our forest that we've noticed since we moved in! (Can you believe it's almost been a year since we moved in here?)

Anyway, Jacob put the feeders up for me and the same day a few squirrels discovered their feeder. A day or two later we had another 2 squirrels, then the next day we had probably half a dozen. Yikes! These not so little critters were going nuts over all the food...they kept coming back and back...and now all the food is completely gone off the bungee feeder. There is a bit left on the ground that they are cleaning up quickly. They've even been trying to get into the wild bird feeder that's hanging from a hook off a pole that also holds another two feeders (a bird house feeder at the top of the post and a hummingbird feeder off another hook). There was one squirrel in particular that kept climbing the little branches on the surrounding bushes trying to get into the hanging bird feeder, however the branches aren't quite strong enough to support it's weight and he'd fall off. Pretty funny to watch!

Looks like the little birds have finally discovered the wild bird feeder, though they haven't discovered the little finch feeder yet. Bummer though cause that one is just outside the sliding glass window hanging out with the wind chimes.

I'm really glad that we got the feeders! I really enjoy watching the little animals scamper and flit their way around the forest out back! Almost feels like we're living in the mountains! This place is really awesome!

Last Day of April 2008

Can you believe this is the last day of April??? Crazy how time flies sometimes!!!

Well, I've been debating on writing the last couple days, just not sure what to write about...I guess I've got writers block! I guess I could write about everything we've been up to lately, but have been a bit discouraged about writing about it all since I've kind of gotten shot down the last couple times I've sent updates...I know this isn't an e-mail, but still, I think of this as my personal link to all my family and friends.

I wish that I could say I had anything interesting really to talk about. I guess I'll just write an update.....Friday evening Jacob got back a little earlier than expected (he caught an earlier flight). Saturday we spend the day running errands...Sunday we didn't go to Church because Anna got ill and we wanted her to take it easy all day. I did get out to Walmart to get my last bottle of pills filled. I was also able to pick up two movies, "Cloverfield"and "Charlie Wilson's War". I wouldn't waste your time with either one! We also went to Toys R Us and got two video games with a coupon that that I got last week in the mail. Monday I went to the Thrift Store with David and got him some pants, met Sara there, but didn't stay because long I started to feel ill myself. Yesterday we finally got the call that's Jacob's tires were in...we took off to Costco real quick and got his new tires. (That sure was cutting is close because our membership is up there tomorrow!) Fortunately they were open till 8:30 pm. Jacob really needed the tires for his car, they were almost completely bald. When we got back home I got rather irritated with the messy state of the garage and decided to go through things and take a load of stuff to the Thrift Store. I took two large store sacks full and a shelf. I also took the wingback over to my sisters...her husband really likes that chair, now all we need to do is take the couch over there, but we are having trouble removing John's seat from the van because the cable underneath that allows you to remove it came loose and it doesn't work. Jacob is going to fix it, but he just didn't have the time last night or the proper tools he thinks.

Tonight the kids and I have Awana. It's 'Super Hero Night'. We probably won't be staying for the whole thing again this evening. I'm just so tired all the time! I am just not recovering very well from the first of the months issue, either that or I have a completely seperate problem that hasn't been diagnosed yet. I have a follow up appointment tomorrow from my procedure two weeks ago and hopefully will get my current symptoms addressed or referred to someone else that can take care of it. The pain is driving me nuts and I'm tired of it, no pain meds are working and it seems to only be getting worse. I'm not sure anymore where the pretty much constant nausea is coming from, this pain/ condition, or the medication that I'm still taking for another month. Like I said, hopefully we can get this figured out because all this constant pain is fatiguing me like crazy. I just want to be able to function normally again!!!

Yesterday I also went to the Dentist. I was there for 2 hours because after much adjustment to the previously filled tooth and another x-ray to my teeth the doc figured I probably did have some leakage under my tooth so he wanted to do a filling. Turns out the tooth was decaying, after he opened it up, and hopefully after the soreness from all the 5 or shots he had to give me to numb up the tooth goes away I'll finally be able to chew on that side again! Let's just hope this is the last appointment other than getting my teeth cleaned that I'll need to have for the next 6 months. I still need to schedule check-ups for the kids and a cleaning/check-up for Jacob.

Athena is being every so helpful to me today and picking up Anna from school for me. The boys are still down for their nap and I didn't want to wake them so she agreed to go and pick her up. My abdomen is really hurting me too, so this helps with moving around so much, though it seems to help to change positions every now and then. Thanks Athena!!! :OP

I took some time today to work on Birthday cards for the next couple months. I don't have all of them done as I don't seem to have enough cards for everyone! I might just get my art stuffs out and make some cards myself instead of just buying them...There are so many birthdays though in the next couple months I can only do about two or three months in advance because my card holder just isn't big enough to hold them all. I think there are about 105 Birthdays and Anniversaries coming up in the next 8 months that I need to make cards for! Wow! I didn't realize there were that many (I went and counted them.)!

Well, I'm not sure what else is going on today. Jacob is at work, so we'll wait to have dinner till he gets home. He doesn't get off for another two hours. I'll have to write more when stuff happens. Talk to you all soon! Good day!

Following the Little House Example

I was watching Little House on the Prairie this morning and it made me think, why can't people be more like the people in Walnut Grove? When someone is ill, or needs some money, when times are hard, or something just goes wrong the whole town bands together to help who ever it is that needs the help! Why can't life be like that now?!

Cuter than a bugs ear!

Wow,

I can hardly believe that it's almost May! The year is slipping away...

Well, I'm probably going to be posting more listing than usual on here...it's been almost four months since I've posted anything. I haven't posted much since I like to write everyone individually, but I'm starting to think that posting everything I want to say here is a much better idea. And I changed my blog name...I wanted something more imaginative for a title and since my Mom still tells me every now and then that 'I'm cuter than a bugs ear' I guess it fits! :O)

We got a new game yesterday "Super Smash Bros." Jacob says it's a total button masher! We got it because when we were playing "Mario Party 8" yesterday I was complaining that their wasn't enough button mashing going on, so...Jake's gonna take it through the story mode first to unlock all the characters and then we'll play matches against each other. He's playing Kirby right now...he's such a cute little pink ball on air!

Jacob is off today and tomorrow, then goes back to work Wed. through Sat., day shift this week and next. It's been nice having him off since he was gone almost all of last week! I'm not looking forward to his next two trips (in June/July), but at least the next ones about a month and a half away...

The boys have been watching shows down stairs this morning. John is currently snuggled in his dad's lap, sucking his thumb, and watching Jacob play "Smash Bros.". It's pretty cute! David is building a castle with the mega blocks.

Anna only has a 4 day week this week! I'm pretty excited about that! Another chance to sleep in Friday. Next week is Anna's school's final Book Faire. We'll be going to check that out! I have big plans for Anna this summer as far as schooling goes. I heard that kids loose 20% off what they learned in school over the summer due to inactivity of the brain, so we are going to have her do a journal each day, work on vocabulary, reading, and I'm gonna have her go through a math workbook in 2nd/3rd grade level! It won't be as long as school, but she really needs to keep up with the reading because she's still a bit behind and she doesn't like math and if Jacob works with her she'll probably get a little more into it. He's much better at math than me, I only got worse the higher I got!

I plan to leave here in a few minutes to go and check out the thrift store. Need to get David some pants. He's worn holes in all his jeans knees. And it's 25% off today at the Unique. So, so long for now...

Likes & Dislikes...A Reference Sheet For Those Who Don't Know Me All That Well!!!

Things I like:

Autumn
is my favorite Season~
I love leaves!
The changing colors of this season are awesome!
I prefer the darker autumn colors:
Oranges
Reds
Greens
Yellows
Browns

***
I love ladybugs!
They make me happy!
***

Sunflowers
cheer me up!

***
Frogs
are really cute!
***

Chickadees, sparrows, robins, wrens!
Small cute birds are really neat!

My favorite chocolates are:

Dove Milk Chocolate
and
Chocolate Covered Almonds
by Dove

Black Licorice
is yummy!

Olive Garden
is Great!

Texas Roadhouse
Yum!!! :O)
(I'm a steak and potatoes kinda girl!)

Chinese Food is good too!
LD Buffet
PF Chang's

Cici's Pizza
hurray!

Fragrances:
for things like candles, sachets, etc.
Cinnamon
Lilacs
Mandarin Cranberry
(Yankee Candle Co.)
or
(depends on where you get 'em)
Cranberry Mandarin
(Walmart)

I like pens!
Papermate Profile
in blue
are my favorite!
They're bold and beautiful! :O)
(Don't like fine pens!)

From Bath and Body Works!
Magnolia Blossom
(perfume)

I like GOLD the best!

I love to go to the Movies!
The Movie Tavern
Southlands Stadium 16
(all the theaters above show new movies before 6 for $5, yay!!!)
Cinema Grill
(even cheaper)

Gift Certificate ideas:
(for the areas above obviously, but here's a few others)
Boarders Books
Walmart
Target

******

I dislike:

Pinks
Purples
Lighter Blues:
Especially Turquoise
Grey
And NO White!!!

White and Dark Chocolate!
Yuck!

Jewelry
(I like to look at it, but don't wear it!)
And No Silver!!!

Scents:
Vanilla
Evergreen/Pine

Can't eat Mexican
(It doesn't like me.)

I'll update this more later,
but this all I could think of off the top of my head!

What I've Learned So Far...

Everybody Needs Somebody
(or at least let them know they care)
All the Time!!!

~~~I think I have learned a bit through what we are going through. Not so much about the decisions we've made, which we believe were divine, but through the thoughts and feelings that we have been having through all this and the way we feel people are treating us. It's made me reevaluate my attitude towards the way we treat people in need, family and friends in particular!
~I've realized that we may have treated our friends the same way we are currently being treated when they were going through a difficult spell. It makes me sick to think that we may have done this...which is to ignore them and now have them ignore us.
~Let me clarify a bit more...it's not that I intentionally ignore them (ignore is so harsh a term), but when you don't know what to do (I've noticed) (especially if you don't have the finances to help out), people have a tendency to keep their distance from people until the hurting person and or family are out of the woods. (It isn't made too difficult if you don't attend Church or have regular contact with them.) But I don't think that people realize how much it hurts to not have contact with their friends or even think they care. And a lot of us don't seem to realize this until we are in the same or similar situation they were once in.
~It's a comfort thing. People just feel too uncomfortable around people that are in trouble, especially when you can't do anything about their situation other than just pray! However, that is where the error lies! Your family and friends need to know that you care! They need to know that you are thinking about them and praying for them, constantly! People need to know that they aren't alone in the world! They need to know that they are loved and needed! They need to know that there are people our there who are willing to help them out!
~There are so many little things that you can do for them even if you can't afford to buy them new tires for their car, or a new large appliance, or financially help out with what ever trial they may be going through.
~What you can do...Send them an e-mail to let them know you care. Or even better, send them a card with a personal note you penned yourself. Or give them a call! It doesn't have to be long, just a quick chat to let them know you're thinking about them. And to top all these, drop by their house to say 'Hi!' (and don't get offended if they don't ask you in, not all of us can keep our houses company worthy 24/7). Just a quick stop to let them know you were on their mind and you wanted to see them and ask how they are!
~~~Other ideas:
~Send flowers to brighten someones day (just make sure they aren't allergic first). Even better is if you know what their favorite flowers are...send those!
~Drop by their favorite chocolates or any other treat that you know they enjoy to let them know you are thinking about them!
~Or bring by a basket with the B.R.A.T.Y diet, tissues, and a movie/book/magazines, etc. if their under the weather! (B= Bananas, R= Rice, A= Applesauce, T= Toast, Y=Yogurt).
~Offer to babysit their kids at their house if they need to run some errands or just need some quality time with their spouse. (Most of the reason people don't take you up on babysitting is because you won't do it at their house where obviously it is the most convenient for them!)
~Offer to drive them to run errands if they don't know their way around!
~Offer to clean their house or help them organize if their having a really rough time for whatever reason.

~~~These are just a few ideas, I'll post more later, but you get the idea! Just be creative!~~~ ***Remember even the smallest gesture can make or break a persons day!!!***

I have actually thought about calling all my friends and apologizing to them for not keeping in better contact and or distancing myself from them in their time(s) of need. It's not that I don't think about my friends, because I do constantly. I wonder how they/you are all the time!!! It's just makes it difficult when you write and write and write and hardly anyone writes back. Then you think, why should I keep in contact when they don't seem to care, they don't write me (or at least that's the way I feel anyway, though it may not, and probably is not the truth)???

I just like to write and talk to people!
I want you to know how we are.
I want to know how you are too,
so that we can be part of each others lives
even if we are far apart
or just down the street!!!

I know every one of us lead very different and busy lives, we just need to let other people know that we are thinking about them, so no one has to feel alone! We need to offer a helping hand if we can, or a listening ear, or maybe a shoulder to cry on, if you don't have the means to do anything else.

It just hurts when you don't think anyone cares!!!

I have a tendency to pull farther and farther away from people (when we are going through trials) hoping one day they will call, or write, or stop by to let me know that they do care and are there for me and my family. And I'm starting to think that's what other people are doing too! But because of this I have hardly talked to any of my friends here in Aurora in a month. And a couple of them live not 5 minutes drive from my house. It's crazy, but I've been isolating myself (not all intentionally due to one vehicle), waiting to hear from any of them to let me know that they care...and unfortunately I haven't.
~I did talk to a friend of mine yesterday when I stopped by to drop off some things at her house. I found out she's been going through a lot with her sister and she hasn't even been to church in weeks either. This last Sunday was her first Sunday back in 3 weeks (we've been out 4 and will continue to be until we get our van back). I didn't know that she was having a rough time too, but I didn't take the time to put in a phone call or stop by because I've been too selfish and hurt about all we are going through, to even take the time to think that other people might need a little help and encouragement too!

Well all that is going to change!!!
I am sorry if I have ignored you in anyway!!!
I am sorry if I have made you feel like I don't care!!!
I do care about you!
And I am going to try from this moment on to let you all know that I care,
even if it's only a little way,
that is within my means!

I know this is a novel, but as I write this I'm learning even more!
Maybe it will open your eyes a bit more too! :O)

***Thank you to those of you who have been thinking and praying for us!
We really appreciate it and continue to need all we can get!***
God Bless!

On the Verge of a New Year

I don't know even where to begin...

I am so emotionally drained I have little emotion left other than self pity...

This New Year is almost here...only 2 hrs. and 45 min. to go. I hope the new year brings us more blessings than the heart aches this year has thrust upon us! At this moment I do not really hold out that much optimism for the New Year...though there are some things that I do wish would happen!

We are stuck in a seemingly never ending void of light in our lives. Each day brings us closer and closer to the edge of a disaster and threatens to break us. And I'm not sure if we are broken that we will be able to recover!

All I want to do is cry! Cry because I see no relief in sight, only heartache growing stronger and stronger every day that we endure these trials!

My mind is lost in a sea of questions. So many questions without any answers, is almost unbearable.

We don't know where to turn, we don't know who to talk to! I feel my self spiraling down and down into the depths of despair. My patience is shot! My temper is flaring! I don't like myself very much right now because I don't have any patience and become agitated very easily and then my temper flares!!! I don't know what to do with the many, many situations that we are constantly being bombarded with! There go the tears again...

What do we do? What can we do? We've told so many people what we are going through, even our Church...We've cried to God for help and nothing has happened!!! What more can we do? Waiting is only making things worse for us! We have no security to fall back on! Why, why, why are these things be allowed to happen? We can't help ourselves, let alone anyone else!!!

What can we do when there is no helping hand in sight? And no one who actually seems to give a dam, other than to tell you that everything will be alright.....and then you feel their gaze slowing shift away as if they are uncomfortable about even being around this kind of situation let alone try to help out?!

I'm so lost...

What's Going On

As the millions of people are out stocking their carts this after Christmas morning I am at home, just woken up about 55 minutes ago. Usually this is one of my favorite days of the year. Waking at 4 am to make it in front of Walmart a quarter to 5. But alas, this year is different and next year will be too! My present supply is pretty much depleted and until our Pitkin house sells we are on a very tight leash for fundage, and I mean very tight, choking leash!!! I never realized just how hard things were going to get because we decided to go along with something that we believed was a divine revelation! I'm not sure what we are suppose to be learning from these trials that we are being allowed to go through. But I have decided that no matter what I am going to trust that God will take care of us! No we are not starving and yes we have a roof over our heads, our bodies are warm. But our hearts are breaking from all the constant bombardments that we are being put through. I just want to be able to give. I want to be able to help other people. But because of our current situation we are almost the ones in need of help! And if we don't stick to the sufficating budget that Jacob says we need to for the next, who knows how long we will probably go bankrupt.

Bringing U Up2Date

Hello...
~I know I haven't been very good at keeping my blog going. Things have been rather hectic here in the last month and until just the last couple days I've been too depressed to really even right about anything. I'm starting to get some of my motivation back though, so I thought I'd submit an entry, even though I don't really have a whole lot of anything exciting to write about. I will update my journal from the 8th till now and I think I'll work backwards and forwards and all over the place, so I hope y'all don't get too confused...

Let's see...Today I have decided that in between catching up on some shows I've recorded recently I am going to try and get the house cleaned up. I have already cleaned most of the kitchen. The downstairs bathroom. The entry way. And dusted the front room. Oh, and let's not forget I started a load of laundry. (Darks are about all we seem to do around here w/ maybe one load of whites and lots of bleach every two weeks.) I still need to vacuum the front room and family room, sweep the kitchen floor, and wash a few windows. I also refilled the cleaning solution bottles and have de-cluttered and organized the lots-of-useful-but-not-
always-needed-things drawer (no it's not the junk drawer, it has band aids, lighters, hair clips, static guard, tape, scissors, etc. you know...lots of useful stuff but not always needed things).

Yesterday I re-listed a bunch of stuff on Craigslist. I started using html about two months ago to make my ads stand out more and hopefully catch more attention. They were more organized and easy to read, but apparently that wasn't a good thing because after re-listing one of my items it immediately got flagged and deleted. After talking with one of the help desk people I found out that because of the html my ads looked too much like a business and businesses are not allowed on Craiglist. People want short and simple. So I went back in after taking some new, clearer pictures and deleted all the html. They are short and non-descriptive and very boring, but I've had more hits since yesterday than I've had in weeks w/ my html. Not sure why because w/ the html I had detailed descriptions and everything was a lot easier to read. It's rather frustrating, but now I can crank out more posts faster, so I guess that's a plus. Now if people will only follow through with their inquiries! ... Well I guess I spoke too soon. I have two people coming by today to purchase items. I am excited! I actually feel like I'm contributing a bit more when I sell stuff. Especially since we don't really have much money right now.

I can hardly believe that tomorrow is Christmas! Can you? Where did the year go? All of a sudden the days just passed and here we are...Christmas Eve. It's crazy. One day you feel like the year will last forever and then you blink and the year is gone. Wow!

On the 10th I went to the doctor because I was having chest pains. Actually I had been having pains for about two weeks before that, but I talked with Jacob and we agreed I should probably go in and get checked out. The doctor did a EKG and it was normal. They ran some blood test and they were normal. She sent me home with a heart monitor that I was suppose to wear 24/7, but since I'm such a light sleeper I took it off at night. I discovered after calling to activate the monitor that I had to have a land line to call the recording in. We don't have one, so I enlisted the help of my sister and my friend Athena (they have land lines). So because I had to go over to their houses to call the recordings in I tried to only have to call them in twice a day even though I was having check pain quite regularly and mostly non-stop. Anyway, I made it to Friday (14th) in the evening. I called Athena several times around 7:15 and wasn't able to get a hold of her so I called Sara to see if it was okay for me to go over there and call the monitor in for the evening. She said yes, so I got in the van and headed over there. I got down to Peoria and Parker (about 5 blocks from my house) and was in the right hand left turn lane stopped. When the light turned green I started around the corner and my back end kept going around to the right. I tapped my brakes and tried to correct, but only made it worse. I finally came to a stop horizontal in the middle of the 3 lane road. I was about to correct myself when I turned and looked out my window and BAM!!! I was hit on my drivers side door. I called 911, but because there were so many accidents going on the city was on Accident Alert. So since there were no injuries we were to just file the claim on-line and call our insurance companies. A security officer for one of the nearby shopping centers stopped traffic for us so we could move out of the way. We exchanged info and I headed home. As I was driving home though I realized that my front wheel didn't seem to be working correctly. And I already knew that my drivers door was toast. The bottom was caved in and top stuck out about 2", unable to close all the way. After filing the claims on-line with both the government and my insurance company that evening I went to bed. The next morning I woke and felt horrible. I think I caught the flu some how. I felt horribly sick to my stomach, weak, and dizzy and my left side had started to hurt. As the day progressed the pain in my left side got worse and by the evening I was calling my Mom to see how bad the pain should be before I went into the emergency room. She said that if my kids were feeling what I was feeling would I take them in? And I said yes, I talked to Jacob (whom was in the middle of a role playing game with his friends). He wanted me to just sit and relax. I went and sat, but I was having more and more trouble breathing. I called to Jacob and he came in I was starting to hyperventilate and he went in to tell the guys he needed to call it a night. My left side started going numb, then my right. Pretty soon I could move either of my arms. And it started heading down my legs and my face also started to go numb. Jacob called 911 and the Paramedics arrived not 10 min later. One of the half dozen people that arrived told me that I was hyperventilating. He started talking me down and getting my breathing back under control. It took awhile and I started to get some feeling back in my arms and legs, but I was still in a lot of pain, so they took me in the ambulance to the ER. There they did some more vitals, took my statement, and some blood work, and x-rays. And low and behold they were all normal. The doctor said that he didn't doubt my pains, but since none of the tests were coming up with anything he wasn't going to diagnose me with having an anxiety attack and give me a anti-anxiety med to take at night before I went to bed to help me sleep and w/ the idea that the med. would carry over to the next day and then he wanted me to follow up with my doctor on Monday.

Monday I got into the doctor. I was suppose to go back the to doctor on Thursday for a cholesterol test, but since I was in on Monday I just fasted before that appointment so I wouldn't have to go back Thursday. Anyway, she said that the med the ER doc gave me wouldn't carry to the next day and gave me another prescription for the anxiety med, plus a pain med for the pains I was still having. She wants me to come back in 4 wks for a follow up unless I don't get better and then she wants me back sooner. I stopped using the heart monitor. They pretty much ruled that out with all their tests. Plus since we only have one vehicle it's pretty much impossible for me to call it in every day. I did have the van last week because Jacob carpooled.

Let it Snow...Not!!!

Lol :O)

Okay, I know we need the snow, but I don't like it. It's always so cold and wet! I don't like to be too cold and I definitely don't like to be cold and wet! Fortunately since I can't really go anywhere anymore I don't have to deal with the snow all that much. Though when the snow stops falling I'm going to have to go out and shovel the sidewalks because apparently there is some ordinance about citizens having to remove the snow from their sidewalks within 24 hrs of when the snow stops falling. Crazy! But it looks like tomorrow is going to be too cold for the weather to remove it for me like the last time it snowed, so I'll be out taking care of business first thing in the morning. Probably before Church starts because tomorrow is a busy day...

Speaking of which...Tomorrow is Tayla's 14th Birthday. For those of you who don't know Tayla, she is Sara and Tim's ward. Before they moved here her mother signed over papers for them to take care of her. And she moved here with them. Anyway, I'm going to be doing a bit of grocery shopping to get some items to make a vegetarian dinner for her Birthday. Plus I was thinking of doing a little something special for the dessert. Not exactly sure what yet, but I have an idea. So Jake and the kids and I will probably be heading to the Commissary right after Church to get the items for dinner.

Not much else going on today besides the snow. It's been snowing most of the day, though it's a really fine powder and not much has accumulated. I think there might be 3 inches outside. But that's not really all the much for snowing all day. I think it just stopped about an hour ago. Nobody has been going outside either because it is so cold. I did go and get the mail in my flip-flops today. I know, I'm crazy, but I didn't want to run up to my room and put on sock and shoes, when it was only a little ways out to the mailbox. Too bad there wasn't anything good in there! Just bills.

Sara and Family came over for dinner this evening. I made two pizzas; a cheese pizza and a bacon pizza. I've found these really great bacon bits that work really great, really as any sort of garnish and extra flavoring for food. I've used them on pizza, in scrambled eggs, and in green beans. I even gave some to David to just eat (that was only one time). He liked that a lot! We watched a couple shows together too! They are coming over tomorrow for Tayla's Birthday meal. I don't think we discussed what time. I'll have to call about that tomorrow!

Well, I'm still not sleepy, but I should probably head to bed anyway. Jacob and the kids went to bed about half an hour to an hour ago. I'm just not tired, so I thought I'd write a little something in my journal. Good night everyone! :O)

Gift Cards are Grrreeeaattt!!!

~ I'm not sure why all the tabloids keep posting..."Gift Cards are Lame Gifts" or saying "Gift Cards a No, No for the Holidays". I recently read this article on MSN.com:

"Gift Cards Are Not Gifts" http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/FindDealsOnline/GiftCardsAreNotGifts.aspx?GT1=10719

I do agree with most of what the lady has to say, actually researching what your friends and family are interested in is a wonderful idea. But what if you really have no idea what a person likes, or what if you do know a persons tastes, but they are extremely hard to please even if you get something you think they would like...Why not give them a gift card to their favorite restaurant or to a Movie Theater they enjoy going to? It doesn't just have to be a Target or Walmart card, but even if it is what's wrong with that? There are hundreds and hundreds of items at those stores that you may not have even thought that your recipient might like or have been eyeing, but not bought just yet because they didn't have the extra cash to splurge on. Why can't you just include a card or note with your gift card that say's " I know you like to shop at ______(fill in the blank), and I thought you might use this card to splurge on yourself for a little something extra." OR "I know this is your favorite restaurant, Enjoy!" I mean what's wrong with that? Isn't it better to give your friend or family a little extra Cash that they can spend on something themselves, than to get them some cheap gift or trinket that will break within the week or they'll never use? I don't know how many times we've had to throw away cheap gifts the day it's been received or shortly after. That's even more heartbreaking to a child than them going out and picking out their own gift with the money they received from a caring relative or friend. It's actually quite fun to watch their little faces light up when they get to pick out something special all on their own. I'm not saying don't give gifts, I'm just saying don't give gifts if you don't know what someone likes. And don't give someone a gift that you wouldn't want to receive yourself!!!

That is my thought on Gift Cards and Gift Giving! Unfortunately we've run into a snag with financing this year and I was not able to get in the bulk of my Holiday Shopping this year. This will probably continue on through most of next year until we can sell the Pitkin House and get some bills paid off! I apologize to all my friends and family that I won't be able to give to until this financial set back is taken care of!!!

P.S. This Posting was not written for any one person inparticular, it is just a compiling of thoughts and observations that I've made over the years through my Family and some of my Friends! It is not meant to hurt anyone's feelings! I apologize if I offended anyone because that was not my intention. This was only written to let people know some of my views on the whole Gift and Gift Card giving idea...

Time Sure Flies

I can hardly believe the month is half over. It seems like I was just writing at the first of the month saying that the month would fly by and see...I was right! :O)

John went down for an early nap today. For some reason he has caught another cold and has his nasty cough back. I also gave him a dose of his neb. medicine. We were actually approved for a new machine that, turns out, is wholly covered by our insurance. So we have a new nebulizer machine for John and a little over 3 boxes of medicine for him whenever his breathing acts up.

Tonight the kid and I have Awana. This is the last night of the Can Can race to collect food for needy families. Next week there is no Awana for the Thanksgiving Holiday. Anna has Wed-Sunday off. Jacob is taking Friday and Saturday off (23/24) for his Birthday. He'll have a 5 day weekend.

We are going to be celebrating Thanksgiving on Jacob's Birthday the 24th (Saturday), plus I think he might be having the guys over for a gaming night. If he doesn't I might just run a mission for him so he can get a game in without having to run it himself. He's always running the games (he's just really good at it, Jake has a great imagination and is really good at improvisation).

Speaking of Birthdays. David's 4th Birthday is Monday the 19th. We are having a party for him at 3:30. Gives those friends who are in school time to get over to our house after school. We are having a Spiderman party for David. I didn't really set a time frame for the party. But I'm guessing probably about an hour and half or so. The kids always have so much fun playing. I don't have any actual games thought up for them, but I'm hoping the whether is nice so the kids can go outside and play for awhile. Plus I was hoping to have the Pinata hung from a tree outback. I was also thinking of contacting friends that have said they are coming to see if they would let their kids wear a super hero type costume. David has a Spiderman costume and we have many others that Anna could wear. Will just give kids another opportunity to wear their costumes out for fun, other than Halloween. We'll see. I think I'm going to ask my sister about it.

I'm hoping to go out after Thanksgiving shopping on Friday. I am getting rather anxious. There isn't really anything that I am looking for, but they have such great deals that day, I will probably end up being up at 4 again this year.

The boys and I heading out after John gets up from his nap. I think we'll be heading to the Mall for a few, then to Walmart to look for a Pinata and maybe the Party store. I haven't found everything that I want for David's Party yet. Hopefully we'll be able to find the stuff in the next couple days. I want to have everything ready by this Saturday if possible.

I better go though. There are a few chores that I would like to get done today and hopefully most done before John gets up. I'll try and write more soon!