I don't know even where to begin...
I am so emotionally drained I have little emotion left other than self pity...
This New Year is almost here...only 2 hrs. and 45 min. to go. I hope the new year brings us more blessings than the heart aches this year has thrust upon us! At this moment I do not really hold out that much optimism for the New Year...though there are some things that I do wish would happen!
We are stuck in a seemingly never ending void of light in our lives. Each day brings us closer and closer to the edge of a disaster and threatens to break us. And I'm not sure if we are broken that we will be able to recover!
All I want to do is cry! Cry because I see no relief in sight, only heartache growing stronger and stronger every day that we endure these trials!
My mind is lost in a sea of questions. So many questions without any answers, is almost unbearable.
We don't know where to turn, we don't know who to talk to! I feel my self spiraling down and down into the depths of despair. My patience is shot! My temper is flaring! I don't like myself very much right now because I don't have any patience and become agitated very easily and then my temper flares!!! I don't know what to do with the many, many situations that we are constantly being bombarded with! There go the tears again...
What do we do? What can we do? We've told so many people what we are going through, even our Church...We've cried to God for help and nothing has happened!!! What more can we do? Waiting is only making things worse for us! We have no security to fall back on! Why, why, why are these things be allowed to happen? We can't help ourselves, let alone anyone else!!!
What can we do when there is no helping hand in sight? And no one who actually seems to give a dam, other than to tell you that everything will be alright.....and then you feel their gaze slowing shift away as if they are uncomfortable about even being around this kind of situation let alone try to help out?!
I'm so lost...
No comments:
Post a Comment