WARNING!!!
Due to the Potentially Harsh wording of this posting by wanting to let you know the exact reasons behind what I do and how I really feel... There is High Risk of your feelings being bruised or injured... Read At Your Own Risk...!!!
Lately I have been dealing with a lot of personal issues that I don't wish to discuss and my latest e-mails asking people not to ask me questions was an attempt to give myself a break from having to relay just how bad I feel every time I'm asked... "How are you, how are you feeling?". Having to answer this question stirs up emotions that I don't wish to feel all the time and unless I am not asked the question or just ignore the person (which is rude), I won't be released from the un-ending circle of emotional chaos on my part!!! I understand that people care and want to know how I am, and if I wish to tell you I will in my own time! I'm tired of being judged and or feeling like I'm being judged! This is a hard pregnancy for me and I'm not feeling like myself and I wish people could just understand that and just pray for any concerns they may have about Baby or me w/out constantly asking me, causing me to think on things that I'm trying to block from constant thought for my emotional sanity!!! I don't care if being emotional is fine with some people, but for me I don't wish to cry constantly and be an emotional wreck all day, it's hard enough to get things done each day without being a well spring of un-ending emotion! This is how I feel and it is my right to have these feelings because I am me and you aren't me! So don't judge me or think that being an emotional wreck is okay, because it may be for you, but it isn't for me!!! I need to have some control over my life and if emotions are the only area that I think I can get that control right now then so be it...so if I ignore your "How are you?". You already know the answer "Not good!" Again, this is how I feel and it is my right to have these feelings because I am me and YOU AREN'T ME!!!
I have also started this Blog because I am tired of people telling me that my e-mails are impersonal and inappropriate! I am not going to apologize for the way my e-mails are, I am just going to put all of that information for access into this Blog and if you wish to read about what I/we are up to you can log on here and read as much or little as you want! I like to write!!! I LOVE to write!!! I like to let everyone know what I am doing, every little detail... It makes me feel like I'm including you in my life! And if you know every little thing that is going on then you know me and my family! I shouldn't have to apologize for wanting you to be apart of my life, or sending the detailed group e-mails that I send. I send the group e-mails because if I wrote each and every person on my list (15+) individually to let you know all that I am doing, that is all that I would do all day long! Yes, I have time to get on and check my e-mail many times a day...I find the time to let you know what I am up to and how I am feeling because that is important to me! As for the impersonality of my e-mails, like I said I don't have the time to write everyone individually the e-mails that I send out. It's not that I don't send out personal e-mail, it's just that I have no idea what to ask you about because I rarely get e-mails about what you are up to, so with out asking the same questions over and over again (being rude in the process) those would be very boring, monontonous e-mails! Like I said, I don't ask you questions usually because you don't write me. I rarely let an e-mail sent to me go unanswered/responded to! I respond to what you have said and ask more questions! This is how correspondance should be! I tell you something, you comment and ask more questions adding personal details about your life! I respond back to your e-mail making comments, asking/answering questions, and including more details about my life and so on and so forth! If you write me, I will write you back! If you ask me questions or make comments/ suggestions, I will respond back! I will write you, but you have to write me to make the whole correspondance thing work! I KNOW this doesn't apply to everyone, because some of you do write, but this whole e-mail thing is important to me, it's 1 of only 2 hobbies for me and all the criticism I've been getting lately prompted the "No E-mail, e-mail." So I'm sick of it!!! E-mail is important to me and I will continue to write..., but my e-mails will probably be fewer due to this new Blog! However, the frequency of e-mails depends too, on you and how often I get e-mails from you!!!
And too, I would like to add that e-mail isn't the only writing I do. I send cards to many of you and get few responses back to those as well...so the whole 'communication is key' standard to live by, seems to not be as high a priority for some people. How are relationships suppose to survive if you don't communicate with one another?! I care about all of you, that's why I e-mail, that's why I send cards!!! I CARE ABOUT YOU!!! I want to know how you are and what you are doing! I want to be involved in your life, even if all I do is read about it! I know we are all busy, that sometimes events that happen through out the day take up all our precious time, but it is my priority to let you know all about me and my family! Plus I find writing out my days events quite relaxing!
I know this posting may be harsh, but if you don't know the reasons behind what I do, or the way I feel about all the crap I've been getting for what I do...then you don't know me at all!
I do hope that you continue to read my posting here so that I can include you in my life, but now you have the option to read or not without being bumbarded by all my daily details...it's your choice...
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