I originally wrote this January 20th...
Dear Family and Friends,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you all, a lot! Don't let my lack of writing speak for itself. I do care about you and wonder what you are up to, I just haven't gotten up the gumption to write. You see there really isn't anything all that interesting going on with me/us right now. You know how it is when you aren't doing very well and you want to know how every body else is, but if you ask them their gonna probably ask how you are then you don't know what to say because all you have to say is just negative and uninteresting. Well, that's how it's been for me for the last month or so...maybe longer. So I'm sorry that I haven't written to see how you all are!
I've been wanting to write for quite awhile now and debated for literally weeks what to write and really, really been thinking about it that last couple days cause I told my Mom that I was going to write everyone. So today I decided that I would write something at least...
So how are you? How was your Christmas? New Year? How is your January going...can you believe it's the 20th already? This month is going really fast! What have you been up to?
I'm doing okay now. I guess I'll go back to Christmas and try and give you a little update till now...
Christmas wasn't what I had hoped again this year! I remember Christmas the way it used to be when I was little and how exciting it was...all the lights, the trees, the snow, the music playing all month long that gets you so in the mood! Getting pieces of fruit, a bag of cheetos, and a jar of pickles was enough, just as satisfying as a pile of toys. (lol) I try to stay positive every year till Christmas and then when it rolls around I'm sorely disappointed! Jacob was working nights so we decided to open presents the night before, actually it was the afternoon, Jacob got up at Noon. I was hopeful that more people would remember us, mainly the kids this year, but they didn't! Actually I'm not sure what happened...I guess people just forgot! Christmas morning rolled around and the kids played with their toys from us and all the Legos I'd purchased over the last couple months. They were so excited to get all the people I'd collected! They love changing out all the pieces, though David's favorite seems to be Mr. Freeze, John's is Batman, and Anna likes whatever character she puts together herself as long as it's a girl! In the afternoon we had several friends over for a roleplaying game, there were seven in all. Athena and her family came over and so did her sister with her kids. Joel, one of Jacob's coworkers and his wife Cindy were over as well! It was interesting playing with so many people, every one has a different idea for gaming. We need to do it again soon! All of us!
Christmas ended and we didn't really do anything celebratory! I had wanted to get a cake and sing 'Happy Birthday Jesus', but there was so much going on with everyone that it didn't happen. I'd hoped to get a few phone calls from people, my brother called in the evening...I talked to my sister earlier, but we didn't really discuss Christmas. I guess I could have called people, but I was hoping they'd remember us, me! The day came and went just like any other day.
The days passed and 2009 began. I wish I could say this year has been eventful so far, but not much has happened. Actually I should mention that we have been regularly getting together with Joel and Cindy on Thursdays for a roleplaying game, Rune Soldier. We've been getting together for 6 or 7 weeks now since early December. It's really fun getting together with them! I look forward to our continued gaming experiences! They are coming this Thursday too, I look forward to our Thursday games! I think we'll have to change the day soon though. Jacob and Joel's work schedules change as of February. Jacob's may completely change from Joels...he's suppose to find out this week hopefully!
I have served in John's and David's Sunday School class in the last couple weeks. I actually ended up teaching both of the their classes.
Last week I turned 30. Actually I was really dreading my Birthday. My age was the only thing keeping me young and then my Birthday rolled around and I turned 30. I'm over weight and out of shape and the only thing that seems to provide me remotely any comfort is sitting a certain way in my favorite chair. You see I've been suffering from a pain in my lower left pelvis/abdomen off and on (mostly on) since February last year. My current doc has figured (mid November) it's probably endometriosis and unfortunately at this point there isn't anything they can do about it! I'm just gonna have to wait for now and deal with the pain, which at times can be very excruciating! Anyway, I hoped that something significant would happen on my Birthday! Who doesn't want something special to happen! However, Anna stayed home ill. She'd been complaining of an upset stomach for a couple days and on Wednesday she finally puked. It wasn't much, but she said her stomach was really hurting so we kept her home from school. I had wanted to go out and do some running around and go out for dinner to Texas Roadhouse, steak and potatoes, yum! We didn't go anywhere, we didn't do anything special. No party, cake eaten the days before, and we just sat around the house. Very disappointing!
Anna felt better Thursday so she went to school. However after pizza for lunch and a bowl of chips w/ dinner and an hour into sleeping she spewed all over herself, her bedding, and her wall (all the way up the ceiling). After we cleaned her up and all her stuff we made her a bed on the floor and she stayed home from school on Friday.
Thursday night I began to feel ill! The stomach flu had hit me! I had to stay curled up in my chair and do nothing to feel even remotely well all day Friday. We went to a movie Saturday, Jake's last day off for the week he took off for me. We watched "Bolt", it was really good! I ate more than I should after not having eaten hardly anything for days. Sunday I really wanted to go to Church, I thought I would feel better, but I didn't and I ended up spending the day again in my chair. That evening I really wanted to attend a seminar that was being held at the Church so despite the horrible pain my stomach was in I went and sat through the 1 1/2 hour seminar. We literally fled right after he dismissed us, my stomach hurt so bad! I was actually able to sleep through the night that night. Monday morning I woke, showered, and got dressed. I thought that I was better, I felt fine, then a horrible wave of exhaustion hit me. I was going to take the kids to the Zoo, it was a Free day. Unfortunately I had to apologize to them and say we couldn't go because yet again I spent the day in my chair to feel better!
I'm tired of being so useless! I know I should be doing more, but unfortunately pain is very draining on a persons body and by the evening I'm ready to fall into bed and just sleep and sleep! I'm hoping in the next couple weeks things will get better. I have a doctors appointment on Thursday, I'll have to wait to see what she has to say...
Today I am actually feeling better. I've done some vacuuming and 4 loads of laundry so far, swept the kitchen floor, put away the dishes from the dishwasher and reloaded it, washed the bathroom mirror. I keep looking around at everything else I need to do...there always seems to be something that needs to bed done. I'll get around to it some time soon.
I can say though that the only things in my life that seem to be good for me are my wonderful husband and my kids! Jacob has been very supportive despite my negativity, depression, and anger. Just watching the kids provides so many moments of enjoyment. The boys like running around all over place, especially from one end of my room to the other and jumping on the bed in our room. They're so funny! Anna is very creative, she made me a card for my Birthday.
Life can be pretty daunting sometimes and I decided that I was going to try and read my Bible and Devotions every day as of January 1st. Plus I've been trying to give each day to God because just making it through today is challenge enough on it's own. Actually it's really helped I think, living one day at a time. Those that know me well, know that I have a tendency to be a real worry wart sometimes and I like to have things planned out and figured out in advance. I like to know what's going on my with us and everyone! I like being in control. I guess I still have worries, but they aren't as debilitating as they used to be. For instance, last month a day or two before Christmas I got a Jury Duty Summons. Geeze if that didn't put the icing on my Christmas Hum-Bug Cake. I was so nervous and worried about what to do, I was literally stressing about it like crazy for about a week. Then I started reading one of Elizabeth George's books which says we should focus on Matthew 6:34, "Don't worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." Anyway, I've been doing really good since. It's amazing how much easier life is when you don't stress about tomorrow. We are still suppose to plan for tomorrow, next weeks, months events, just not freak about 'em. I'm sure lots of you have already figured this out, Jacob sure has, I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to figure this out, but my life and hopefully my families life is better because of it!
I know most of this e-mail is about me, but the kids haven't really changed in the last couple months. Though Anna's school work load is getting heavier and heavier every month! Jacob and I both feel like we are the ones in school most of the time and wonder if they are actually teaching her anything there?! Anna has two projects due in the next month...first is an at least 8 poem, handwritten and illustrated booklet due on February 2nd and she has to have an at least 8 line poem memorized to recite to her class. Then less than 2 weeks later Anna has a Science Project due which we haven't even researched yet. With these and all her homework she rarely has any free time after school, it's really burning her and us out on school!
The kids are really into video games! Anna and David really enjoy playing Star Wars Legos, they'll spend the entire day playing if we let them. John likes to think he's playing, but he doesn't know how to do anything with the troller.
They are all growing! Anna needs some new clothes, pants really. She's put on at least an inch since school started, her pants are turning into high waters, so are Davids and John's actually. We'll take their measurements on Anna's Birthday and see how much they've grown since David's Birthday when we did their last measurements, we even measured Jacob and myself.
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